I’ve known for a while that when I was little, one of the reason’s I had such a drive to excel academically was to get love and attention. What I didn’t realize was that this belief—learning being a critical way to get love—was still running the show!

A lot of the time, we are Focusing with something holistically, being with the whole of it. But sometimes, what comes forward are particular “parts” of ourselves. In a way patterns or habitual ways of reacting or thinking in given situations. There are many ways to work with these parts, and this blog will dive into ways that Focusing and other tools can be used to help.

How we listen can greatly affect the interaction we have with the other person we are connecting with. Here are five ways to increase safety while listening which ultimately can allow for more flow in experiences (felt shifts!) or generative conversations.

We can experience a shift by expressing something for the first time. However, after a while, Gendlin says that “discharging it over and over won't help. We need the felt sense of the wider context to form, and lead to new emotions that have not yet formed, and we need the series of steps that can come from a felt sense.”